Remembering Holly!

Life takes little detours. We have taken the past few months off from remodeling our home to spend time with Holly. We feel it's important to let those you love know how much you love them while they are here and it's important to give of yourself and your time. This Saturday we will host an official Memorial to honor and celebrate Holly's life...Today I share a recent memory and journal post.

Memories...by Teresa Stephens Harvey
I wrote this one short month before Holly would leave this world.. I did not have a clue at that time that we would be saying good-bye so soon.

We miss her dearly. We still seek to honor her by finding our happy and thankfully for a life of great memories and stories we share we all laugh often with her as the common thread in those moments of laughter. We will have tears. We will feel moments of loneliness and loss. But, we will never ever forget the amazing gift and spirit of Holly. Our lives have a light and an extra layer to them because we were blessed to experience the gift of having Holly in our lives.

Our journey was not perfect. The walk with Cancer is never easy. We pray none of you ever face this journey but it Cancer enters your world we hope you remember to look for the moments of happy. The gifts to be found along the way.


This is the journal entry I wrote on April 8...today I look for my happy and my hope is that all of you look for yours too. ~Teresa

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Lessons learned along the way...

There are days that are hard. You learn that in life rather quickly. Days you don't feel all that well. Days that you feel kicked before you get up.  That is just part of life. Sometimes you are left with the darkness after a thunderstorm without any signs of a rainbow.

If you're a caregiver you put those days behind you as quickly as possible because you see first hand that your worst day is a piece of cake to the one you are caring for.

Our family talks about choices a lot. I believe that life is made up of a thousand choices and depending on the ones you make with a whole lot of help from God behind them that regardless of your circumstance, your health or your position in life you can have a good life. You can have a life that makes a difference.

My sweet Holly has terminally ill cancer.  The statement itself is like a stone in my heart.  However, until a few months ago that seemed to be such an abstract statement.  We have an amazing faith, prayer team and support group. Doctors that have kept up with every trick in the tool box to keep this cancer at bay! No one wasn't willing to do whatever was physically possible to fight this fight!

However, sometimes, the physical fight isn't enough.

Holly's cancer has advanced. The tumors in her brain have refused to respond to treatment.

Now we have another choice...

Cancer takes away many dreams in life. Holly will never get married, have children, watch her family grow.  God gives back in other ways. Holly has spent her time being an awesome Aunt to her nieces and nephews. Holly has spent her extra time volunteering at Children's Hospital rocking babies who are ill and need love. It's amazing to see one dream be answered with NO and have another dream provided.

Holly has had the opportunity to travel, to build amazing and lasting friendships, and to work in a job she enjoys and that challenged her. Those are blessings that both enriched her life and led to enriching others.

 I have watched a feisty, funny, beautiful spirit become more so.  Holly has never wallowed or let Cancer define her. She has instead chosen to walk with Grace, to look for joy, to seek ways to fill her time and mind with positive things in life. And I am so thankful that I get to share this journey with her.

So, when we sat down for our family meeting recently the heartbreaking reality that sometimes Cancer wins hung heavy in the air. Our kids listened with mixed tears glistening in their eyes as they bravely held them back. My son sat in stoic silence. Several questions from our curious lot finally surfaced...but what did not ever surface is that this was defeat. We may not have our happily ever after this time but we will have our happy. We will find our joy and share our time with Holly in love. We will continue to enjoy our great family and AMAZING friends. Our choice is to lean on faith, to find joy, to look for the best in every day. We prepare now to explore that we may have to let Holly go. To let God take her home and to lean on our faith that we will share time with her again in a different place, setting and time and it will be filled with a new HAPPY. We will pull together as a family and look at the lessons we've been gifted and look for the new ones we will learn.



Psalm 41:3
The LORD sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness. (NIV)

Benefits of Summer!

I love summer. Love the heat, love the sunshine, love the long days. Everything about summer is right up my alley.

One of the best parts of summer for me is the fresh produce! Garden fresh at that. Zucchini, squash, tomatoes, cucumbers, etc. Then you can top it off with a great side of fresh fruits. YAY.

Recently a sweet friend shared her over abundance with us. We were blessed with zucchini, cucumbers, and tomatoes.

So, tonight our ordinary chicken dinner was livened up with a beautiful stuffed zucchini! It was divine.

YUMMO! I made up a quick and easy recipe on the fly. You may have a favorite, time honored recipe and I would love it if you wanted to share it. But, this was an in the moment decision so this is what I did:

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees

Cut Zucchini in half and cut out the middle of each section.

Take the Center meat of the Zucchini and cut into small cubes

In a large mixing bowl take the Zucchini and mix with the following:

1/2 tsp sweet basil

1/2 tsp of dill

1/2 clove of garlic minced

1/2 onion minced

1/2 tsp chipotle chili powder

1/4 c sharp cheddar shredded cheese
1/4 c Italian blend shredded cheese
2 tbsp Greek Yogurt

Mix well and place back into the center of the Zucchini then garnish with sliced cherry tomatoes. Sprinkle the entire thing with salt & pepper and place in the oven at 400 degrees for 40 minutes or until soft. This was a hit with everyone in our house.  Yes, I love summertime. 

Making lemonade...

We've all heard that expression when life hands you lemons, make lemonade! Sometimes the lemons aren't exactly our own.

Life is funny. You live one way for most of it and then age, circumstance or whatever sends you a giant curve ball and things change. That's when it's time to reassess and make lemonade!

My daddy would do anything for almost anyone but not always will he do for himself. What I mean about that is if you knocked on the door and said you were freezing he'd give you his coat, invite you to warm up by his fire and probably feed you. Make sure you were doing well and then send you on your way. He wouldn't give it a second thought. The next morning after realizing he gave away his only coat he would pull out his sweater and go about his day. COLD but again not give it a second thought. I do love this about him.

The Farm ©Get Inspired with Teresa Stephens Harvey

BUT for every golden trait we have there seems to be a flaw. My daddy's flaw is he's a wheeler and a dealer. He can't pass up a good deal. That may not sound like a flaw to you, and maybe it's not in general. But, with all these good deals he brings home tons of stuff that we may need someday. My mom loved to have a clean house and she likes pretty things. So, when they were younger my daddy drug it in the front door and my momma quietly drug it out the back door. Making lemonade! It was harmony.

The Farm ©Get Inspired with Teresa Stephens Harvey

Then you have to remember where I started this post. How sometimes the lemons aren't your own. Life, time and circumstance change. My mom is very sweet and has worked hard all her life. She worked in the business world, juggled 3 kids, and took care of her husband and her home. That all changed for her and us in 2001. Something went wrong and she got sick. It's never been the same since. We all still love her and do what we can for her but she can do very little for herself these days. Let alone all the things she used to do like drag that stuff my daddy drags in out the back door! So the lemons began to pile up. I knew they were but I was away and it's easy to think of it as not that bad. Then one day my daddy did something he rarely does. He asked for help. So I loaded up the cleaners and my crew (that would be my child labor and hubs!) and drove out to the farm to see what we would see. All I can say is it took a heap of sugar to turn it to lemonade!

The Farm BEFORE PIC ©Get Inspired with Teresa Stephens Harvey

When we got there we were greeted by STUFF! Lot's of stuff. Memories, old and new. Good deals. Duplicates because the original good deal couldn't be found, etc. So, we embraced those lemons and made them our own. Why? Because I love my parents. Because my children love their grandparents and because sometimes life changes and having sweet lemonade is so much better than just dwelling over a large stack of lemons.

The Farm ©Get Inspired with Teresa Stephens Harvey

With a little TLC, a few tears, lot's of laughs, and more than a little hard work we mixed it up until it was just right. Until my mom who rarely says anything took a walk around and noticed her pretty things and touched them, admired them and then said "No, Teresa, I don't want you to move that dresser. I like it where I put it!"

The Farm ©Get Inspired with Teresa Stephens Harvey

I laughed and smiled. I cried a little for the mom that she used to be and rejoiced that part of that mom is still there. 

The Farm ©Get Inspired with Teresa Stephens Harvey

I can't change my daddy and his good deals and bargains found on the side of the road. Chances are if you need something he's got it!

The Farm ©Get Inspired with Teresa Stephens Harvey

The Farm ©Get Inspired with Teresa Stephens Harvey

I do fret that I am so far away and not close enough to help more. But, I am thankful for the time spent. I am thankful that I can give back a little of my time, because, they have all ways made time for me.

The Farm ©Get Inspired with Teresa Stephens Harvey

The Farm ©Get Inspired with Teresa Stephens Harvey

It took a few days to get the task done. The lemonade was sweet and we all got to enjoy the perks of being at a farm. We saw new life. Baby chicks were born while we were there!

The Farm ©Get Inspired with Teresa Stephens Harvey

So enjoy your summer and the chances to make lemonade. ~Teresa

A lesson in Koi

Hello out there! I've been so busy. Working on revamping a Koi pond. FUN. I will admit I was not thrilled when faced with the task of helping revamp and save a swampy haphazard koi pond. But, I looked at it, took a few pictures then did the research. It has been a work in progress and I have more to learn but it is coming along. Here are a few pics of the progress.

Is there a backyard project you are tackling that you weren't excited about? How is it turning out?

BEFORE

PROGRESS!

You couldn't really tell from the before picture but there was a medium sized Japanese Maple at the top, we removed it and transplanted it to a new spot in the yard. The Koi were then captured and put in a 5 gal bucket while we drained the pond and scrubbed and cleaned. Cleaned the Filter and put new filtering material in place. After that we rearranged the flagstone and rocks, added soil to the small planter spaces and added a Koi Fountain to the top of the water fall area. After 24 hours of running the filter it was time to reintroduce the Koi and add new plants. It's been 2 weeks and everything is going well. Next step is to introduce 2 new Koi and to add a larger filter. Don't you love to see progress.

Teresa Stephens Harvey loves Christmas...

Teresa Stephens Harvey is sharing some of the pretty's my two youngest and I have been putting together. We are conspiring on a few more. ;) I'll update as we finish with the fun. These were created for a client and were so fun to make!

In the weeks ahead I am focusing on making gifts for others. Starting with stockings for my daughters who are in their first home. Next week my kiddo's and I will be doing the "neighbor dash"! We will make simple Christmas door hangers filled with a few homemade candies and put them on each neighbors door. We have done something similar for years and it is a great way to think of others and boost that Christmas spirit. 

Teresa Stephens Harvey is on her way to new horizons!

Good bye, Adios, Adieu, so long...Woohoo! The packing is underway. Moving truck is scheduled and we are leaving Midlothian. Texas will all ways be home & we will visit friends and family often but we are so excited for what the future holds.

I will be totally in my element putting together the new house. The new pool design is confirmed and they break ground on the 1st! It is so fun watching a pool being built.

Love when God has a plan and it all falls into place in perfect timing. Our middle daughter is graduating and we were able to stay here for all of her senior activities. Our oldest bought her first house and we were here to help her get moved and mom even had the opportunity to redesign two spaces and pick a color pallette for her. Great mother/daughter bonding time. Our other two children are getting to wrap up the school year with friends and are all set for summer camps and summer fun. Continue to keep us in your prayers as we travel forward.

Please also pray for the new family moving to the house we leave behind. Pray that they have a smooth move and are happy in their new home.

Cyberbully, how they work. Even in small town USA.

Cyberbullies are not any different from a normal bully.  They are unhappy, blustering, overbearing, small minded individuals whose intent is to cause malice and harm through badgering and intimidation. The goal is to discredit and harm others through lies, intimidation and misuse of information.

You can stop their their mischief by not supporting their cause. Reporting the abuse using the "report" buttons, removing them and blocking them from your online sites.  Doing nothing does give them a sense of success and feeds the personal high they achieve by harming others.

A cyberbully has a whole arsenal of supplies to achieve their goals.  They can use social networking sites, online information data bases, online video and picture sites to target an individual. There are blogs and websites that automatically pull from YouTube and other websites any content based on descriptions and or tags - so information can be spread and shared at warp speed.

How?

Bullies can keep it personal and use email, phone calls & text. But with the popularity of the internet, digital photography, videos and smart phones bullies can now take photos, edited video clips, or out of context pictures, video and information then add malicious statements and comments to spin a story that will suck in an audience.  It doesn't have to be true, doesn't have to have any truth in it - but if it has a picture attached it draws people in to look and to possibly believe what is stated. Some bullies will even use a shred of truth that is manipulated, i.e. "I have a stalker that drives slowly past my house 6 or 7 times a day". The bully leaves out the fact that the "stalker" is really a neighbor that lives next door and drives the residential speed limit past their home every time they leave the neighborhood. But,  not everyone will not stop and ask themselves if the picture or video really add up or know any of the personal players involved. A bully is well adept at the art of editing and altering both the facts and the images they are promoting. A picture or video, are easily altered with photo shop and/or other online editing sources. The altered image can then be used to support the verbiage attached.  A bully will ensure they never show the information and actions that helped insight a response or what was really going on when the images were captured. The bullies will only create a response to support their cause by using the tools of the trade to alter, add in or take away sound bytes, totally manipulating the information so that the situation will draw in an audience to support or victimize based on the bullies agenda. 

OK, so what, you say?  Not many people will see that. Or will they?
The art of online marketing is now used by our bullies.  Using catchy or trendy search names like "Jennifer Anniston", "Green Living", "Space Aliens", etc...help their content pull up in search engines.  Now they have a bigger market.  A prime example is the Jennifer Aniston Video to market water.  The video is set to play automatically anytime someone clicks on it - so even if you don't want to promote the video it will play & gain attention and support. More plays the more popular!

Marketing a video to get attention


But not everyone will know who they are talking about, will they?
Tags. You don't have to outright use a persons name & address to target them. Tags are identifying features you can use on almost all websites that allow you to add content.  A bully can learn personal and identifying information about you then add those tags to their content so that it will be linked to your online presence and/or personal information. Your name, address, work, etc., even in random order will now link back to their target.

Is that legal?
Yes. Anyone can take pictures of you, videos of you & use your information. Internet crime laws are vague and stalkers and bullies know this. Unless it is a crime or exploitation of a child the crimes are few and far between.   That being said there are some laws that prevent some of this as outlined in an earlier post, however, a lot of it is open to interpretation.  Also, anything put on the internet takes time to remove. The sites have to be checked, the information provided has to be researched and proven, then the laws have to be reviewed so the content can remain for weeks or even months before it's gone.  Also, if it is only reported by the person who is targeted then it will get little notice. Most sites require a minimum amount of complaints before it's even reviewed.  Making it more difficult is the fact that some sites only allow you to report an abuse if it is a violation against you. Also, as with the Jennifer Aniston video on some sites or videos when you click on them to report them they play & gain attention through viewings. This causes a Catch 22.

Now what?

Report, flag for abuse, block and request content to be removed.  Report the information to teachers and counselors if you are a student. If you are an adult report it to the proper authorities, police, internet crime services, and actual websites. You may have to do this more than once.  Take screen shots of the offending material. Send links to the authorities. They can document and make a report, even if there isn't an actual crime yet.  This helps protect you if it becomes a civil matter or the criminal lines get crossed. Just printing out the material isn't good enough - remember photo shop and/or editing services?  They can be used both ways so courts don't allow information that can be easily altered as evidence. However, having it witnessed and documented by the proper authorities does make for credible evidence. There are also online information storage companies that can protect and encrypt information as it was on a certain date & time.  Remember the bully can go in and alter, add to, take away or delete the information at anytime.

Keep things in perspective. Remember when viewing information online that just because someone uses words like:

Jealous, stalking, weird, unhappy, crazy etc...that the person using those words is most likely the one who is the perpetrator not the victim.  Be proactive and don't support malicious activity online.

Online and everywhere in your life be responsible and thoughtful.

More information against Cyberbully and online Harassment:

Family Safety
Steps on reporting abuse.
Kids & Teens - steps to know
McGruff puts a bite on bullies!

SOLD! 4221 Addington Pl., Flower Mound, TX. 75028

4/2.5/2 3450 sq. ft. $344,500.00 **SOLD**Home sold in 48 hrs!
Located in Glenwick Estates in Flower Mound, TX.
Large 4 bdrm 2.5 bath home with an open loft gameroom with custom built in cabinets, bonus room off of Master bedroom suite. Formal living & dinning room. Beautiful backyard oasis with Texas size diving pool perfect for entertaining. Turn on the outdoor speakers to your favorite music and relax on the back deck with friends & family. Plenty of room for all.

2004 Roof replaced
*2004 Replaced A/C Upstairs Unit
*2006 Pool resurfaced & re-tiled
*2006 New cook top with indoor grill
*2007 Replaced A/C Downstairs
*2007 Replaced heater & Air Exchanger
*2008 New front walk path
*2008 Updated tile in Master Bath & Kids bath
*2009 Textured walls in Kitchen & Master Bath
*2009 updated Kitchen & Master Bath with Granite
*Texas Size Diving Pool
*Jacuzzi tub
*Custom Cabinets in Open Game Room
*Green Belt/Dry Creek Lot

Master Bedroom: 20x18/Level 2
2nd Bedroom: 11X10/Level 2
3rd Bedroom: 12X13/Level 2
4th Bedroom: 12X13/Level 2
Downstairs Study: 11X10/Level 1
Bonus Room: 18X9/Level 2

LISD Schools: Bridlewood/Downing Middle School/Marcus High School

http://www.flickr.com/photos/randomlytj/sets/72157617300445989/show/